Tuesday, August 21, 2007
as i took the last, long sip of my 4$ gin and tonic, i found myself starring down the bottom of the glass. no ice. i reached into my pocket to find a couple of singles. i walked in with 40 dollars. i definitely had one, too many.
i decided to get up on my feet if i could and start to dance. anything to save me a couple of bucks for the cab. i loved how the room moved. everyone came from different points of the map but, somehow there was a universal message on the dancefloor that was spoken through body language.
a couple of hand grabs and hey lil mama's here and there.. but i managed to push myself through the sea of unfamilar faces. and suddenly, i met eyes with one that i seem to frequent. it was like a cheeseball music video..
i felt my cheeks turn a slight warmth. at this point, i couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or a sudden attraction. it sure was permeating through my body. whatever it was, i couldn't control it and i didn't want to.
i nervously moved towards the window to watch the sudden pour of rain outside. "great" i thought. i tried to play my cool card and ignore his near exsistance but i couldn't contain myself. i'd be lying if i said i didn't feel his stare. i turned to give him my weak smile, afraid of rejection. but all was well- a smile in return. "its rainin' cats and dogs " i said so childlike. he let out a chuckle and noted my southern draw.. "thats real cute" i was no longer the damsel in distress at the bar.. i had suddenly become his object of desire.. and he, mine.
shoulder to shoulder, then hip to hip, we stood in near silence in a room of clamor and commotion. we shared laughs in what seemed like hours, but only fifteen minutes passed. he shifted his hand down the small of my back and we moved. tallulah by jamiroquai dripped through the speakers, or at least in my imagination. the crowd moved to a much quicker beat, but we found ourselves moving to our own.. slower rate. it was almost like he gave the dj his own playlist.. because every song was right.. and i didn't want to leave his side.
everything about our encounter spelled out trouble. both under influence, we had divine scent. four hands and a simple touch. my nose rubbed against his and i could already sense the longing for a kiss. just a simple kiss. it was mutual. every inch of my body said yes but my mind repelled against the idea.. the pressure was already enough that i could bare. i recognized the butterflies inside of me. i was uneasy.. but it was a nice, uneasy feeling.
in my ear he whispered "stay with me tonight".. i laughed it off and felt his grip grow tighter. he moved my head towards his so that our eyes would coincide. "come home with me" i grew hesitant and looked away.. i looked back. he never lost focus.
"come home with me" there was no contemplating now...
the pitter patter of the rain grew louder, and i there i laid. a sigh escaped my lips.. what a relief.. i thought. it feels good to come home alone. just knowing that we didn't act on impulse like little children... instead the intimacy we shared without a single kiss, leaves me feeling like more of a woman then i have ever felt..
sexual tension is stronger than any drug, even love.