its been forever i know, but i had to put my creativity on hold because quite frankly.. i sort of lost it over the past few months. i went to dallas last weekend in hopes of finding inspiration with a camera in hand.. and i did. i'm a little rusty but nothing practice can't fix :)

hopefully there will be more photographs soon once again.

beauty bar, dallas tx
pentax k1000, kodak 400 iso

i have been so bad with keeping up with updates on this blog. i'm currently trying to figure out a way to change the way i do things on kneeseespieces. i'll have more updates from last weeks photo session my sister and i did with local band, jack of hearts tomorrow.

the month of march is always always hectic.

if you could choose a word to describe your year, what would it be? mine would be intuition.

i've always known that i was intuitive, i just didn't know how to trust it. i didn't know whether to accept it as a strength, so i saw it only as a weakness. i would get myself into situations when i knew what the outcome would be. i always hesitated when i knew it would be something good but when it was bad i didn't even think twice, i'd dive in head first. i kept setting myself up for a lot of heartache, trouble and loss. i was so afraid that if i didn't let myself experience it, then how would i ever really know? i've always been a private person, so i kept all of the perceptions i was having to myself. i figured the less i spoke about them, the more i could hear them. that didn't work out very well. until recently, i taught myself to be more outspoken. i would say them aloud just so someone else would be a witness to my thoughts. that didn't work out very well either, because i suckered myself into it anyway.

i was always letting myself go only to watch it unravel before my eyes. as predicted, everything always transpired exactly as i imagined it would. i allowed all of these terrible things happen to me. and of course, i'd proceed to beat myself up over it because i should have listened to my intuition. i never did. i came to the conclusion that i was afraid of being wrong and afraid of controlling the situation. i just didn't trust myself and with that came the disability to trust in others. i created a mess for myself, all because i wouldn't follow my instincts.

forward from here, i will create or find a sanctuary to meditate. i will teach myself to quiet the inner dialogue in my head and listen to the blank space behind it. i will write down my dreams and everything that comes to my mind, no matter how outlandish it seems. i will question myself more positively. with this exercise i trust that i will find inner balance, have a clearer conscious and develop healthier decisions and relationships. this will be an art in itself.

i will also learn how to develop my own film.

"it always amazes me to think that every house on every street is full of so many stories; so many triumphs and tragedies, and all we see are yards and driveways."
--glenn close

history has a really weird way of repeating itself, especially when it involves the one of the same people, same circumstances, just a different time. so wild. my intuition is something i really need to follow. i'm trying to teach myself how to listen, meditate and trust it. the feeling that i received today was extremely overwhelming. to know that i knew something all along, only to mistrust my gut feelings and see it all come to life before my eyes.. i can only kick myself in the butt.

often times i believe i meet people in my life for a reason, and that reason is almost always boredom. boredom is often mistaken for fate. i make this mistake many times.

you're all going to laugh at me, but i'm attempting to try something new. as you all know, i don't stress enough about how i despise routine. i can't stand it. i think it's silly and restricting. and this is probably why i am still a lady child. i believe it's time to finally grow up and learn to create some sort of system. i decided i should try the following:

find a place for bingo night.
go for a run at least twice a week.
thrift for more blue and wear it.
camera+ get lost in georgia every other weekend.
get a library card, check out a book once a month.
cook a new recipe once a week.

wish me the best.
i am absolutely terrified.

here we are, meeting face to face with the last days of december. as i've gotten older, i've failed to recognize the new year and make resolutions, because i don't believe in them anymore. i am the kind of person that refuses to be content with any situation. therefore, reevaluation happens with every cup of jo in the morning and every night before going to bed. i wish for new and better things everyday and i hope that you all do too. don't let a calendar tell you when to tell someone that you love them, when you need to take a vacation, or when not to wear white shoes. let life unfold in it's own unruly way, and you will be surprised with how beautiful everything can be, if you let it.


see you in january
xoxo
kneeseespieces

people come and go in your life. some decide to leave unannounced and some tell you why they have to go. and then there are those who linger around for whatever reason they may have. sometimes we'll never know what their real intentions are. because they'll never tell you. even if they tried. because that is who they are. and they expect you to accept that, with or without clarity. and there's nothing you can do to change their decision. although it may hurt, you really have to carry on.

"you have five minutes to wallow in the delicious misery.
enjoy it. embrace it. discard it. and proceed."

penser à la pensée.
thinking about thinking.

okonomide

i'm over enjoying my stay on the southside.. i've been getting extra extra snooze for an entire week. i'm going to have to fight it off the laze when it's time to go back to work on monday.


the way i've been blogging has probably turned into a bore for some of you as much as it has for me. when i first started here, it began with things like i went out again last night and look at my new nail art. then it gradually turned into here is a picture of a leaf and this is how it makes me feel lol. my blog content definitely reflects me as person 100% and i go through a lot of changes so you should probably expect changes all the time :) what can i say? i'm moody and i contemplate if you haven't figured that out already. all this structure is boring me.

anyhow, i'm going to a house party down here tomorrow. something new and at the same time old. i'm some kind of excited :)

the sound of loneliness makes me happier.
i need a new city to fall in love with.

with every seasons change, comes the desire to have a change in appearance. two years ago, i had really long hair. and then i chopped it all the way off. so for the past two years, i endured really awkward hair from when it was growing back and spent lots of money on extensions. today, i'm looking at it thinking.. cut it, cut it, cut it. the baggage of contemplation that comes with being a pisces girl.. oh me. suggestions?

do you ever wake up and see missed calls you sometimes wished you picked up? i think those are the ones you were meant to miss. have you ever woke up 10 seconds before someone called you.. as if they were sending you a conscience message to your brain? and then you stayed up all night on the phone until morning? despite my work schedule, it was well worth staying up for :) just healthy talks that remind us that we are still human beings who, in fact, do contemplate. well, it's an hour til coffee and cereal so i should probably squeeze in a power nap.

have a happy wednesday

i get bored easily, i find getting comfortable a bad thing.. i'm restless and i'm almost tired from it. but today.. the truth came into the light..